The Hole in One for the ages!

Rich gets paired up with Preacher Parker for the second time in 30 days.  The first time he shoots a 62 in a one man scramble event to win his flight.  The second time he Ace’s a tough par three.

So how was your day

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Welcome back. It's been a minute. The summer has been packed with a trip back to Charleston during the Memorial Day weekend where the team of J.E. and Mike Kay, and also the ambassador, hosted us for a week and underscored the point that our future lies somewhere back in the low country. The summer weather up here in the Shenandoah Valley has been perfection. 60s in the early morning, rising to the 80s in the afternoon, with a fleeting squall every once in a while to remind us that we're in a drought like condition. I'm never certain when the next event or series of experiences will drive me to the mic. Perhaps it's the fact that I'm enjoying life too much, with little pause for reflection, despite the never ending events happening home and abroad. So you have to ask, what's the rationale behind repeating annihilations and obliterations? I mean, either of those words suggest it's one and done. But here's the narrative. The narrative is this Wouldn't you want to stop a nuclear bomb from dropping on you and your loved ones? Why yes. Yes I would. Well then stop asking stupid questions and let us do what needs to be done because you don't know the facts, do you? Well, now that you put it that way, and condescend to any and all correspondence that asked the same question, I guess we don't know what you've been briefed in the situation room. But what we do know is that you're known for hypocritical statements, bizarre midnight tweets on Truth Social, and you demand your cabinet compliment the historical job you're doing and only feed you information that makes you look brilliant, not like Sleepy Joe or a legal birthright Barack Hussein Obama. So I'm not gonna talk about any of those things on this episode. This episode is the whole in one episode, just another ace. You know, I'm getting tired of winning. Anyway, how was your day? So for those of you who have played with me, you know that I'm always searching for that perfect swing. Constantly curious, always fidgeting with equipment, swing videos, training devices. I am looking for what's it gonna take to swing that club, hit that ball, and have it go where you want it to go. Just like we see every weekend when the pros are playing. And I just can't stop myself. I got a new set of irons a few months ago. They're hitting nicely. Just got a new driver, been fidgeting with my putter. I practice chipping a thousand different ways, and when I finally get it right, it's just not good enough. I've got to try something else. I've got to hone this perfect swing. Anyway, last Friday, Susan and I took a road chip down to Charlottesville, Virginia. Beautiful town. Congested is all get out. There have to be 50 red traffic lights as you're going through town. A lot of construction, but it's built in these beautiful hills. And it's a place, if you're in Virginia, you've got to stop and you've got to see it. The university there is magnificent. Architecturally designed by Thomas Jefferson. And by the way, Thomas Jefferson, our third president, was a prolific slave owner and slave lover. He created his architecture called Jeffersonian architecture, with a style modernizing Greek, Roman, and French designs. Besides his contributions to our democracy, he had six children with his slover, Sally Hemmings, who also spent twenty-three hours, fifty-nine minutes, and thirty seconds a day as his slave and the other thirty seconds as his lover. Her five brothers, James, Peter, Robert, Martin, and John, helped build and manage Monticello to allow Thomas Jefferson to live a privileged and lavish lifestyle until he couldn't afford it anymore. I mean he was a chief architect in multiple structures that lasted centuries. The chief architect in the Declaration of Independence with a key phrase We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And he had multiple slaves bringing him his slippers and cooking his meals, not to mention the things that Sally had to do. Which always brings me to my observation about humanity. More than one thing can be true at the same time. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, back to my day. While she has something to do, I have an hour to kill, and I decide, hey, maybe I'll go over to the University of Virginia golf course. Birdwood golf course at Boarshead Resort. I pull into the lavish rolling hills and first come upon a par three, I think it was six or nine holes, and I said, I've got to come out and play this sometime. Then I get up there rebuilding the clubhouse, so that was really nothing to see. But I had heard they had this practice green that was 31,000 square feet or almost three-quarters of an acre. To put that in perspective, that's nine times the average square footage of any green in Pebble Beach in Carmel, California. It's huge, over 18 holes with undulating greens, so you can walk around and play for hours. Anyway, as I'm sitting on the green, I'm looking out and I could see multiple holes beautifully manicured. I have to come back and play. But it kind of put a fire under my ass that, hey, when I'm done with our excursion down here in Charlottesville, I'll return, but I've got to go back up into Harrisburg. I've got the afternoon open. I've got to play some golf. But before I do that, I pick up Susan in Charlottesville. We make a stop at Trader Joe's for a supermarket sweep. You know, it's funny. When you have a Trader Joe's in your backyard, like I did in Charleston, I might have gone there once a month. Just for the fun of it. There are certain things I like there. But when it's not in your backyard and it's an hour away, when you get there, all of a sudden you get these cravings for things. So we spend quite some time there with all kinds of goodies, bottles of wine, we head back to Harrisonburg. And as soon as we get back, I'm thinking of different ways that I've got to say to Susan, hey, do you mind if I go out and play? And she, before I could say anything, she goes, Hey, why don't you go out and play golf? She had stuff to do. She didn't want me in her hair, but she also knows I had talked about Birdwood for at least 15 minutes in the car until her eyes glazed over. There are four golf courses within 10 mile drive from McGekkiesville. Two located on Massinutton, a mountain resort at the southern slope of the Massanutten mountain range. I'm not keen on either of the two tracks there, mainly because of the heavy tourism and inflated rates, but also because walking steeply sloped terrain makes golf just harder than it already is. And they let their geese express their bowels on half of the grain, so no thank you. The other two championship courses, Lakeview and Heritage Oaks, are always in great condition and simple and easy to get at tea time. I chose Heritage Oaks that afternoon because I like the layout. A woodland and links designed by Bill Love. Also, because I had a career round there in July shooting a 62 in a one-man captain's choice event. I mean, who knew that Mulligans could shave off every bad shot that you'll ever have in a round? Well, probably everyone knows that. When I shot my career round, hitting 17 greens in regulation, I played alongside a three handicap. Let's call him Preacher Parker. His day job is a pastor at a local fellowship. He was recruited there from San Francisco, Bay Area, so not a hill country rock down native. One of the most complimentary, positive golfers I've ever played with. He made the experience of playing one of the hardest sports, fun and hopeful. As a golfer, he hits long, high shots, rarely missing a fairway or green. That likely fuels his positivity and trust in the sport, but I'm leading more towards his faith. That's his catalyst. The other reason I chose Heritage Oaks is because I actually missed the turnoff to go to Lakeview, where I was originally going to go. It's closer to my house, but I end up traveling up 33. There's a traffic light, I'm on my phone, all of a sudden somebody hunks at me, I go straight instead of making a left. And as I'm driving up, I'm like, I don't want to turn around. I'll just go to Heritage Oaks. That's what led me there. The one thing I like most about Heritage Oaks is the layout. It's a beautiful course. What I don't love about it is that when JMU is back in session, Heritage Oaks gets real busy, which means the only open noon spots are late in the afternoon and you have to play with two or three other golfers. In previous episodes, I expressed my dismay with three generations behind me. You know, I think as life expectancy gets longer, we're gonna continue to have problems with generations that follow us, particularly three generations. And I've talked about this before. Everybody has always had a problem with the kids these days. But I have just found too many times the ones I've been uh paired up with either don't have golf etiquette or just don't like older people, or both. I think the older generations cling on to the way things have always been for them. It's like this is the way. But the new generations say, yeah, but this is our way. Whether it's 6'7 or lead follow or get out of the way, it's become recently just please, older people, just get out of the way. So even though last Saturday, JMU is back in session, the fact that I missed my cutoff, I'm heading in that direction. I think enough time has passed since my last bad experience with Gen Z. So I call the course while I'm driving, and they say you have to join a threesome at 352. I get there, and as I'm paying, they say, Well, you're gonna be playing with, and they say, Preacher Parker. And I'm like, this is gonna be a good experience. I had a great experience with this guy last time. So I go to the first tee, and there's the preacher with two Gen Z golfers. I'll call them Ryder and Sawyer. One of them had planned to play with the preacher, the other he had just met, and he was excited about it. Obviously, he's having a different experience, or he's making a different experience because he's a preacher, and that's what he does. He grows his flock. So I wondered to myself, is this a coincidence that I miss my turn to go to Lakewood and get paired up with Preacher Parker at Heritage Oaks? Some would say we all live in a simulation where more advanced life is controlling our experience. Some would say divine providence, where God directs the course of events, like a cosmic craftsman. I believe that you could believe whatever helps you make your life journey. As long as your belief doesn't cause you to step in my line when I'm about to putt, as long as you don't talk or walk in my backswing, as long as you don't ride up in front of me to find one of your golf balls, and as long as you don't spew any wonderment about Trump in his think list tank. God, here I am talking about politics again. I'm sure you want to hear all about the whole in one story, but come on. Politicians all lie, some are just better at it than others. The higher you ascend in any organization, the more you have to bend the truth, like Yuri Geller bends spoons. You have to convince or leverage your adversaries to move your agenda forward. There's always a bigger force that pushes against leaders. Remolding the truth or presenting alternative facts, as Kellyanne Conway suggested about Trump's inaugural crowdside. Some politicians are just better at being vague to soften the effect of their policies. Years of practicing law, organizing communities, or serving in the Senate chisels politicians into professional fabricators. That's not the same as a con artist, a fraud, a charlatan. So, like I said, you can believe anything you want, but if it doesn't pertain to golf, food, movies, or streaming platforms, keep it tightly packed within your head until you exit the golf course or you're surrounded by your own kind. Back to the golf course. I'm excited to try my new Ping G440 driver. I hit it well in the fittings, and now it's time to release the Kraken. It took several holes until I found the center of the driver's face, but something about my swing was off. I never felt comfortable in my backswing. Meanwhile, I'm watching Preacher Parker hit every green in regulation and was one over par at the turn just because he missed a par putt, it lipped out. He was playing great. I wasn't the same golfer he witnessed a month ago when I couldn't miss a fairway and hit all but one green in regulation, making eight birdies. But the preacher is positive and has honed his life work by growing his flock through hope and faith. He would say something like, That shot wasn't rich like whenever I hit a shitty shot. Translation, you're better than that last shot. So I kept trying. I kept trying to find greens. I got to the 13th hole, an uphill par three, that I have struggled hitting the green. There's just something about the layout. It is farther than you think it is because of the elevation, but it's slight elevation, so you really can't see it. This time the pin was tucked to the far right behind an enormous bunker facing you, saying, hit it here, hit it here. Come on, I dare you. I was set up to hit when Sawyer stood to my left. Again, a really well-behaved Gen Z who had worked at a golf course in Richmond. He knew where to stand, where not to stand, what to say, what not to say. He also was not having his best game, but again, Preacher Parker helped him out so he was hitting better shots. He's to my left. I stand up to hit my shot. Now the other Gen Z stood behind me watching. It didn't bother me this time for some reason. Anyway, I waggle, I take my club back, and for once all day, it felt like it was in the right slot in my backswing. I'm looking at the ball, I feel my shoulders turned, my arms are in the right place, and I decide go for it. I swing and the ball comes off my club face like burnt marshmallow. It felt just right. The ball flight was going up, not too high, but it's hard to tell because it's an elevated green, but it was flighting towards the pin, and the guys are saying, that's it, you're on it, you're on it. Man, that's a sign when everybody else is coaching the ball as it's heading towards the green. The ball goes over the bunker. I believe it hits the green. I could kind of see it, and it starts spinning a little bit to the right. I can no longer see it. But Sawyer is watching it and he goes, I think that's in the hole. Now, I'm not going to let my imagination get carried away with me. I've hit too many shots to blind greens thinking this is it. And I get up to the green and it's somewhere off the back of the green or someplace way past the pin. So I'm not getting too excited. Plus, I was playing like shit coming up to that shot. I just bogeied the last three holes after birdieing a hole before that. I can't get it together. I just can't find my swing. But this one felt right. So I walked the front nine, I got in Sawyer's cart on the back nine because it was getting dark. It's already seven o'clock. We're on the 13th hole, and now it gets dark at 8:15. So we're driving up, the other two guys are walking, they walk up to the green and they are walking at a quick pace. I come up over the hill and I look down at the green. I don't see a ball on the green. So now while I'm looking behind the green in this rough, like I'm sure it's back there, Sawyer kind of runs up to the hole. So do the other two guys. Preacher Parker looks down in the hole and says, Hey Rich, I think this is your ball. I'm like, no shit. So I walk up, I bend down, I pick it up, the guys are cheering, they're excited. I give Preacher Parker my camera. I said, get a shot of this. I bend then, I pick up the ball like everybody else does. I hold it up, everybody gives me a thumbs up. He says, I got the shots, I got the shots. I take the ball, I put it in my pocket, they high-five me. Now I have this feeling of euphoria. This is something that I have been trying on every par three forever. The odds of getting a hole in one for amateurs are 27,000 to one. And I think I've already had 27,000 shots at par threes in my golf life. So I was due. We get to the next hole, and I just say, guys, this was some feat. Don't expect anything on the next hole. And they're like, go ahead, Rich, and I'm feeling pretty good. I actually blast a drive down this hill. It is a severe drop, with basically the next shot you have to hit up over this rough area, like a barranca, to get to the green. You can't top the ball and get it to go to This hole. I'm 130 yards out. I've never hit it this far. I am doing great. I get up, I go to hit the next shot, pull it to the left, goes into sand trap, and I'm like, uh, Rich is back. I bogey the next two holes, and I'm like, this whole thing was an aberration. And all of a sudden now it's getting dark. And the ranger actually pulls up to us and tells us, you've got to return that cart in 10 minutes. We have two more holes to play. And there is no way I am finishing without playing the last two holes. So I look at Sawyer, who's worked at a golf course before, and he says, Hey, look, I just got back here to FSU. I just transferred. I'm new here. And I don't want to break any rules. I've been a card guy before. I'm taking the card back. And I said, Well, I'm carrying for the next two holes. So I pull my bag off, throw it on my shoulders, play the next two holes, even par, get off the course, shake everybody's hand. We walk, it's dark. We walk up to the clubhouse. It's closed. So I can't even go in and say, hey guys, somebody here just got a hole in one. Go to the parking lot. There are three cars in the parking lot. I get in my car, I turn it on, and I'm like, motherfucker. Just scored a hole in one. On my drive back to McGekiesville, I actually text my son, Matthew, and said, you're not going to believe this. I'm 70. I just got my next hole in one because he knows the first one I got was 40 years ago and it didn't count. It didn't count because I'm playing in Denver. I think it was Highlands Ranch or someplace they play an event. I'm playing with somebody who I was a customer of. It was rare that I was somebody's customer. Usually they were my customers and I was pandering to them. But this guy was the great customer, greatest customer golfer. And so we get to this one hole. I pull out a wedge to hit. It's downhill. It's probably 140 yards, but there's elevation. I was much younger. I was hitting it farther. And he goes, You ought to hit a nine iron. And I'm like, no, I think wedge, the way I'm playing, he goes, No, I think nine iron. I pull out a nine iron. I hit it, back of the green goes off the back. The pin was kind of center front. And I, his name was Sherm. I go, hey, Sherm, let me just take out my wedge and see what I can do. See if I'm right. He goes, go ahead. I pull out my wedge. I pull the club back. It felt right again. It's that same feeling. Hit the ball. It felt the same way. Perfect. Skyded it, hits the green, hop hop, goes in the hole. I'm like, okay, I got a three. He's like, that's a hole in one. That's all. He actually had a plaque made for me. One in a million instead of hole in one. I thought it was pretty funny. That's the only hole in one I've ever had. So I thought my son would be ecstatic. And anyway, I text him. He calls me back later that night. We talk for an hour about it. He wants all the details. This is something that's great to share with somebody, particularly your son who you've played golf with. He knows how important it is to me. And then I text my daughter and she texts me back and she's like, hey, did they put your name on a plaque in the clubhouse? They had different perspectives. Anyway, no. So how was your day?