Tales from the first tee
Stories about my life experiences and others as I work at one of the premier golf clubs in Charleston, SC. Interviews with golfers around the world that have one thing in common...the pursuit of excellence on a golf course and everything else that happens along the way.
Tales from the first tee
Unexpected Links Between Gossip and Golf
Encountering Christmas decorations in August might make you pause, but it’s a reality in today's retail world. I’m Rich Easton, and in today’s episode, I share a personal journey through this extended holiday season, questioning how early promotions affect the essence of our celebrations. From navigating the pressures of gift-giving to the hopes of mending relationships, I explore how the commercial landscape shapes our holiday experiences, inviting you to reflect on what the season truly means in our lives. Join me as we unpack the nostalgia and expectations of the holidays while pondering the true spirit of this time of year.
Shifting gears with a sprinkle of humor, I dive into the world of gossip and golf, two seemingly unrelated topics that reveal more about our social connections and personal rituals than you might expect. Discover how gossip, often seen as trivial, can foster bonds or stir conflict, transcending age and gender stereotypes. And if golf is your game, you’ll appreciate my quirky take on marking golf balls, a personal ritual that combines practicality with self-expression. Whether you’re navigating greens or the latest celebrity news, you'll find wisdom and laughter in these shared human experiences. Plus, I wrap up with warm holiday greetings from Charleston, South Carolina.
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you're tuned in to another episode of tales from the first tee. I'm rich easton telling tales from beautiful charleston, south carolina. Welcome to the 2024 year-ending reflection-pending seasonal-blending, relationship-mending, holidays, bank lending and the 129th episode for Tales. In this last episode of 2024, I'll reflect on when do you give advice? To tell the truth and nothing but the truth. Gossiping is a currency or deflection. Marking your balls? Hey, take it easy. But first a few thoughts on the effects of the holidays and how they've changed or remain the same.
Speaker 2:Down in the workshop all the elves were making toys for the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys when the boss busted in nearly scared him half to death, had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath as I'm writing this episode.
Speaker 1:It's somewhere between Thanksgiving and the New Year's, right in the heart of the holiday season. And I say right in the heart because Thanksgiving used to be the gate to the holidays. It was the first of three holiday rituals that signaled winter is coming. But winter is coming. We know what's coming with it. We can't face it alone. So plan your family and friends gatherings, make reservations or plan your meals. Slow your business travel schedule and gather your nuts for a long hibernation period. Business travel schedule and gather your nuts for a long hibernation period.
Speaker 1:One noticeable change to me is that my favorite retailers in efforts to meet or beat last year's holiday sales start merchandising holiday items way earlier than last year. Retailers in efforts to beat last year have to think of a few things what are they going to sell? How are they going to price it and promote it? What did competition sell last year? What do you think they're going to sell this year? And the window of time of selling those items. Now, the what, where and whys seems to change moderately every year. Hot items like toys, games, tech gadgets, video games and trendy items like remember the Razor scooters, legos, luxury sneakers and electric bikes. They come and go, but it seems like most retailers, including online retailers, all go to the same trade shows and try and sell a version of the same hot items every holiday season. The noticeable change to me is the when when the retailers start doing their merchandising for the holidays.
Speaker 1:Now I remember the days where the day after Halloween signaled Thanksgiving merchandising and travel promos, the day after thanksgiving signaled Christmas promotions. You know, interesting, I don't recall a campaign by any retailer to influence the eight gifts that you give during the eight days of Hanukkah. Perhaps most of those were money, chocolate covered by gold, aluminum foil shaped like money or blatant piggybacking on Christmas gift ideas. Yeah, and before you blast me for racial profiling, I celebrated both for years. So this comes from a place of personal observation, not othering. So why am I bringing all of this up? It just so happens that I walked into a Costco in late August to find a display of holiday wrapping paper, bows and Christmas lights In August.
Speaker 3:It's Christmas in the summertime the sun is up and I feel fine. Christmas in the summertime. The sun is up and I feel fine. Christmas in the summertime Let the summer shine. It's Christmas in the summertime, the sun is up and I feel fine. Christmas in the summertime. Let the summer shine.
Speaker 1:Man, I swear. It was a 90 degree day in Charleston with 30% humidity and I had just sighed with relief to feel this cool air conditioning. When I walked into the Costco warehouse and came upon the holiday decoration end cap, it just didn't feel right thinking about Christmas in the middle of August. You know, some people say we should think about the feelings associated with the holidays all year round. Look, when I was growing up, that was reserved for the village idiot. Look, I agree with the sentiments of being kind and treating others with empathy and compassion year-round. I mean, isn't that what Saturday and Sunday services are all about? That being said, I find it off-brand and certainly off-season. Pushing a December experience in August. It would be tantamount to selling surfboards and bikinis in Buffalo between snowstorms. All I'm saying is, if retailers have a surplus of last year's holiday items in shipping containers or warehouses, promote them online and promote them with a drop-down menu on your website and keep them out of the brick and mortar stores until you've sold the current holiday items for the current holiday. When it's summertime, wow me with items that I could use or gift today. Please don't tempt me to buy and hoard things for four months out of fear of missing out on your high-value items that might not be there during the holidays. Look, if you're like me, Amazon delivery people are familiar with my front steps more than my friends and family. Anyway, back to my thoughts on the holidays.
Speaker 1:The holidays, to me, are a time of hope and high expectations. Hope that some things get better. Hope that certain relationships mend. Hope that certain relationships end. Hope that health is bestowed upon you and your loved one. Hope that you break bread with those who you share values with and hope that you could find common ground with those you don't. Hope that your dog doesn't chew up your third Roku remote controller when you leave for alone too long. And hope that those you care for and love love you back.
Speaker 1:High expectations that the economy improves. High expectations that the new boss is better than the old boss. High expectations that if you're a kid, you get that one item on Santa's list that is far beyond your parents' means. High expectations that whatever adult hobby you have, whatever game you have pickleball, golf, tennis gets better or you're not picked last for adult soccer or hockey leagues. High expectations that whatever you cooked, roasted or baked makes your guests happy and doesn't send anybody racing to the bathroom or the emergency room and high expectations that whatever New Year's resolution you made this year sticks longer than a test spaghetti noodle on the wall. And lastly, I toast all of you who are interested enough to listen to my holiday episode from all over the globe.
Speaker 3:Biba Jai Viva.
Speaker 2:Pervisex.
Speaker 4:Scholl Narok Slonček Na zdrovie.
Speaker 2:Salut federal prison or his infamous crime. Hey, little friend, now don't you cry, no more tears. He'll be out with good behavior in 700 more years.
Speaker 1:When is it okay to give advice? Yeah, I don't think there is a cookie cutter pat answer to that question. I think everything is situational. Years ago, when I was asked to manage teams during my heyday in corporate america, I found myself thrust into a role that required ad hoc coaching and counseling, sometimes at a sequence from the annual performance appraisal time period. So if any one of my team or adjacent team members behaved in a way that required immediate feedback, I chose to resolve the incident with question and answer sessions that led me to the cause and effect of what happened. And where do we go from here? Typically, where to go next was wrapped in advice on what to do more of, less of or clearly differently. That got you in that situation.
Speaker 1:My brother, a long-term practicing shrink, would tell me how he wasn't concerned with the reasons why his patients did something that ended in a harmful result. He would just tell them hey, stop doing it. Good advice, right. Sometimes I didn't have the luxury to cut that close to the bone. His patients were coming to him to lessen their pain, so doing less of something that was hurting them or others around them was simple yet effective advice. I mean mostly there were blatant behaviors that didn't need to be addressed by HR but that could be corrected with a simple sentence like hey, stop gossiping, please put your phones down when the boss is talking to us and, guys, stop putting strip clubs on your expense account. The guys in accounting don't have a sense of humor. I mean, most of the time my advice was offered as the result of a failed strategy or tactics that resulted in bad outcomes. That was my role and I was selected to do it because I had made some decisions in the past that yielded good outcomes and was able to sweep the bad ones under the rug.
Speaker 1:When I was a parent of young children, I didn't have to give advice as much as clear directions Clean up your room, do your chores, stop hitting your sister. When our kids get into their teens or later. When our kids get into their teens or later, we become young adult consultants. We're no longer directors. It happens over a long course of time and is clearly a result of how quickly our kids mature. Now I am a full-time family consultant and I only offer advice when I'm asked or I sense that a loved one's issues are a result of self-interference, in other words, they can't get out of their own way. Someone once told me don't ever offer advice unless you're asked, and I would argue that even when asked, there are times to hold your tongue.
Speaker 1:We've probably all had a friend that was dating or married to a classic jerk Usually only bad things to say about other people Can't have conversations about politics without calling the person with a different point of view a total idiot or roll their eyes every time their significant other spoke. So I had a friend just like that. They broke up after a night of drinking and verbal abuse and it was obvious that my friend was still reeling from the breakup and asked me my advice on what to do and how I felt about her partner. As soon as she asked me that I was looking for a window to jump through. This can be a no-win situation if not handled right. I didn't want to blow smoke up her ass but at the same time didn't want to play my hand and become another one of her friends. That warned her about this guy. If you do a 360 on anyone, there's a general consensus on how that person treats others, so I didn't need to pile on. So I just said let time soften the edges of the breakup and about the time that I said that, thank God, another person entered the room, said hi and I did my famous Irish goodbye. I couldn't moonwalk out of there and, as I see it, if they end up getting back together, I'm in the clear.
Speaker 1:And, of course, in my podcast I can't go without drawing up a metaphor or simile to golf. On the golf course it's common that you or your buddies are going to have a few bad swings, bad holes or even bad rounds. During the self-destruction you might notice something that's causing your buddy's demise. Whatever you notice, it's counterproductive to offer unsolicited advice. Nobody wants to be coached by another hacker, particularly when you're in the middle of a slump. You want to find it yourself. It'll make you a better self-problem solver on the course, because when things go south and you're playing, you can't just walk off the course, go to the driving range, hit a bucket of balls until you find your swing again.
Speaker 1:When things get so bad and your friend says what the heck am I doing wrong? He or she seemingly is now asking for your advice and, unless you're a PGA pro, have given countless lessons and have made specific corrections to a similar type swing flaw, I would wait until the end of the round and suggest a pro that can help them. The best answer is I don't know. But I got a guy and here's why, if you suggest a particular swing change on what to do differently, and it doesn't improve his or her game on the next shot, guess who the problem is? Now you got it. It's you Gossip. Is it currency or deflection? Tis the season to get together with friends, family and workmates. A time to bond, a time to reflect with others on the good old days and a time to talk shit about anybody who wasn't invited or chose not to attend the gathering. I'm talking gossip.
Speaker 4:I'm calling to tell you the part of my day where I told your friend what you told me not to say. I'm sorry I said it. I should have kept quiet. If my mouth was on sale, nobody would buy it. You're messy just like your bestie. You gossip so much that you lack tons of breastie.
Speaker 1:Those of us who engage in idle chatter, conversation about others' private affairs, things you rarely say to those you're talking about directly to their face, some gossipers see it as a chance to build and strengthen relationships with those who choose to engage in gossip with them.
Speaker 1:Gossip adds excitement and drama to life. I've got a good buddy who's been reading Us magazine since he used to spend hours in airports and in the air. I mean, how many times can you read American Way in-flight magazine and look through the SkyMall magazine for the ultimate gift that says I have no problem overspending on gadgets and gifts, because I almost forgot about our anniversary again. Hey, even though my buddy slowed his roll accumulating SkyMiles, he still runs to the mailbox on Monday mornings, rips through his weekly subscription to get updates on the weekly celebrity crushes and this week's celebrity breakup. And at first I was like, what are you reading? And then I picked up one of his magazines, started reading through it and I'm like, hey, this is fun stuff.
Speaker 1:Gossip magazines and tabloid magazines, a multi-billion dollar industry while declining in distribution, are being replaced by TMZ and social media platforms like X, instagram and, for all us boomers, facebook and Facebook neighborhoods where every Karen can voice their dissatisfaction with those crazy kids riding their e-bikes and scooters way too fast in the neighborhood.
Speaker 1:And as we evolve as a race, gossip continues to keep pace and sometimes leads the information race. As an informal communication vessel, gossip serves as a valuable purpose. It lets everybody else know when somebody's being a total douche, to protect them from being a future victim of doucheism. It can also help us from walking into a buzzsaw and, on the other side of the coin, it brings out the catty side of those who revel in malicious mudslinging or deflecting the spotlight away from themselves to avoid criticism. At the previous companies that I enjoyed working with and for, gossip had a negative connotation. Gossipers couldn't be trusted because they would as quickly talk about you as soon as you left the room where you were both sitting and they were shit talking about another manager. Remember when traditional stereotypes suggested women gossip more than men?
Speaker 1:Well my experience, supported by multiple, would reveal that both sexes gossip as much as the other. I'll repeat that Men do it as much as women. And here are some more insights. Extroverts tend to gossip more than introverts. Younger people are more likely to engage in shit talk compared to older adults. That might be for two reasons. Older people have seen the negative effects of blaming others for their problems. Relationships are hard enough to build and manage. Now sprinkle in a little bit of he said, she said, and it becomes that much harder to repair. He said, she said, and it becomes that much harder to repair. Also, our youth hasn't gained the wisdom from the experience of witnessing what happens when gossip blows up in your face.
Speaker 1:Despite the fact that gossip might have a negative connotation, it is in the mainstream media. Blake Lively is suing Justin Baldoni, her director and co-star, on a recent movie. It Ends With Us. Justin Baldoni plays an abusive boyfriend who Blake is now suing for sexual harassment on the set, in other words, being an abusive boyfriend. And you want to hear something shocking. I knew that would get your attention.
Speaker 1:I'm not big on gossip, unless we're talking about local golf course management. Don't get me started. So as we all breeze through the holiday, try and refrain from whispering about Bob's weight gain, karen's excessive love of fillers or how your boss has his or head or their head up their ass. You'll thank me later. And my last segment how do you mark your balls? All right, my adolescent friends, take it easy. I'm not talking about genital tattoos or piercings. Yeah, genital tattoos or piercings. I mean, what series of events have to transpire for a man to want a Prince Albert King's Crown or Jacob's Ladder? That's the epitome of self-expression. No, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about putting a mark or design on your golf ball to differentiate it from your playing partners.
Speaker 1:Most golfers place a colored dot somewhere on their golf ball, at the first tee or for those who have a propensity to cheat administered in the woods, when you find a lost ball that wasn't yours, but you're claiming it because yours is deeper in the woods and marking it before your buddies catch up to you. It's a very clever cheat, until your buddies find your actual ball, 10 feet deeper in the woods than you were, or your mini magic marker that you keep in your front right pocket breaks and bleeds into the front of your golf pants. I've always derived pleasure from spending a little more time putting lines, dots, concentric circles or even small decals on my golf balls. The process of marking the balls to me is therapeutic, like an arts and crafts kind of project, but even more importantly, it's a process to be able to identify your ball After hitting a drive, an approach shot to the green. It's satisfying to walk up to a ball that you suppose is yours and look closely at it to see your personal mark. I've heard too many stories of competitive golfers where you or your competitor hit the wrong ball that had the same brand as the other, like Titleist, taylormade, callaway, etc. I think you get it and whoever hit that ball has to take a penalty stroke as a result. That's why I mark my balls with three solid lines that overlap the model. You know the model like Pro V1 on a Title list. That helps me align my tee shots and putts. I also place three dots under the number on the ball. This way, wherever my ball comes to rest, particularly in the rough, I should be able to see if it's my ball, because it has those markings.
Speaker 1:Some golfers magic marker their initials or a design unique to them. I'm too anal, retentive to make marks that bastardize the clean lines that the golf ball manufacturers print on their balls. Rick Riley once wrote a book Missing Links, a humorous fiction about these golfers called the Chops who played a muni outside of Boston. One of the characters, danny, only played golf balls with the number eight because he felt that the number eight was the only number that was perfectly balanced, which affects the perfect roll of the ball on the greens. Look, we all have our proclivities. Dan Lee only played with a number eight golf ball, and I absolutely cannot play a ball where I am writing my initials or writing something that is just not in sync with the perfect congruity of printing on the golf ball.
Speaker 1:So now I have my golf balls and I get to the green. I've got three perfect lines and I have three dots under each number. I try to put my ball down and align the three lines with my intended path, but sometimes I just can't bend down long enough, or sometimes, as I put my ball down, because of the undulation of the greens, it continues to move and the lines are now offline of my path. So then what I do is I take my ball with the three dots, face it away from the path so that I could see the back of the ball with the three dots and stroke through it, trying to hit the middle dot on the same plane as my putting plane. So, newsflash, when I'm putting like shit. I do none of that, or I try to do all of that and it just doesn't work because I lost concentration due to my playing partner swaying like it's his first time public speaking and he can't control himself.
Speaker 1:So, however you mark your balls, make it personal and make sure you can identify it in the rough and, as it pertains to using your ball marks to align your putts, well, good luck, everybody's on their own. Well, good luck, everybody's on their own. You've been listening to another episode of Tales from the First Tee. Happy Hanukkah, merry Christmas, happy New Year. I'm your host, rich Easton, telling tales from beautiful Charleston, south Carolina. Talk to you soon.